Remembered Because of Daughter

July 8th, 2009 | 0 Comments | Children, Mistakes, Social Norms |

Two days ago we went to have dinner at a restaurant we visit occasionally when we want to eat something relatively tasty at reasonable price. Because it is a place with a lot of customers that is full almost all of the time, I was surprised when the maître d’ recognized us and told us our favorite table would available shortly.

My wife also thought it was strange. While for a moment we entertained the idea they might have remembered us on account of being a mixed family, we discarded such notion because the staff at that restaurant is used to seeing foreigners and their Japanese families. Later, when we were back home, we realized the hostess remembered us because our daughter once caused the maître d’ to drop the machine used to process credit card payments.

It is an universal rule that small children are very talented at making inopportune comments at the worst of times. My own child is no exception. No long ago, she managed to create one of those situations that would, in any culture, make everyone uncomfortable, and certainly more so in Japan, where discretion is very important.

In this country it is not unusual to find restaurants and shops whose restrooms are unisex. The restaurant in this story is one such place. The last time we visited, months ago, my daughter needed to go to the restroom. After taken care of her business, we went to the lavatory outside the bathroom to wash her hands. While we were cleaning up, we heard the bathroom’s sliding door close. My kid asked if I knew who had gone in. I answered that knowing such a trivial thing was unimportant. Even though she insisted she wanted to find out, I said I did not know as I was finishing up drying her hands.

As we headed back to our table, as soon as she was next to the restroom’s door she opened it completely and at the top of her lungs made an announcement: “look! That man is urinating!” I shut the door immediately, noticing that while the person inside had turned the door lock to its “on” position, he had failed to make sure it latched-on correctly. I was beginning to tell her that she should not have opened the door while somebody else was using the restroom but, before I knew it, she turned around and went back to open the door once more. Speaking yet again at the top of her lungs, she made a new observation: “he has tiny pee-pee!” (おちんちんが小っちゃい！) I grabbed her hand firmly and quickly went back to the room where our table was.

I am a slow eater by nature, but that day I chewed on my food far more thoroughly than usual and even ordered coffee and desert, all with the intent of not running in the the poor man again. But Murphy’s Law never fails. When we finished eating we went to pay our bill at the cashier, where there was a short line ahead of us. And who else could have come right behind me? As soon as I saw him, I discreetly apologized to man from the restroom, who smilingly said that it was no big deal. His wife asked him if my daughter was the girl who saw him at the toilet and offered some compliment to my kid. I thought I had worried for nothing, but I was completely wrong.

While we waited for our turn to pay, my daughter told me that the man behind me was the same person she saw in the restroom. I chose to ignore her. But she insisted in pointing out that he was the man with the small pee-pee. At that point I became upset and told my daughter, right after handing my credit card to the cashier, that she should not be saying such things. She seemed truly puzzled and reproached me, “you have always told me one should not tell lies; I am not lying, he has got a small one, like my friends at kindergarden.”

At that point I had no idea of what to say, so I decided to focus on paying. However, the cashier dropped my credit card; then she became all thumbs and ended up dropping the credit card reader on the floor. As she apologized for her clumsiness it was obvious that she did not know where to direct her gaze. When I was finally able to pay, I decided not to turn to look at the poor victim of my daughter’s remarks because there were no good apology to offer anymore.

After that incident we kept away from the restaurant for a while, but it seems we have not been forgotten.